Finally!

I finally thought of something I felt like writing about.  I've been in a blogging/picture taking funk here lately.  I haven't had much to say besides how my child is a friggin' Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.  He can be, and usually is, a fun, hilarious little guy.  Then he morphs into this angry, slapping, you're-not-going-to-make-me-happy-no-matter-how-hard-you-try, well, TODDLER.  Terrible twos my left foot.  Try terrible year-and-a-halfs.  That's okay, the good times far outweigh the bad.
So, to get to what I felt like talking about today...

This is FAR into the future, but I'm a planner, worrier, trouble borrower, whatever you want to call it.
How in the HELL did my mother allow me as a 12, almost 13 year old (going on 35), to board a plane and fly to Washington DC for a week for a school trip?  I don't really remember any details about the trip besides sneaking over to the boys hotel rooms, getting into fights with the other barely teenage girls I was rooming with, and playing truth or dare on the dark bus ride back from the airport.  And consequently being broken up with by my boyfriend the next day (who was NOT on the trip) because I was "supposedly" made out with my ex-boyfriend during said game of truth or dare.  Fifteen years later, I cannot confirm or deny that any making out took place.  But, all things considered, let's say it did.  Sorry. :)

So here comes my point.  How in the crap am I going to be expected to do the same thing with my son?  Let him get on an airplane and fly THOUSANDS of miles away without my supervision.  Then, of course, once they get whereever they're going, it's probably going to be dangerous.  Hello, Washington DC is dangerous people.  And there probably won't be adequate parental supervision.  And then to top it all off, covort with hormonal 13 year old girls on dark busses? 

What were you thinking letting me go there Mom? 

I think I feel an ulcer coming on.

I know.  I know.  I will deal with it.  But that doesn't mean I will have to like it.
I want Cole to be able to experience the world, just not TOO much of it.  And, as a 13 year old who knew all of her friends were going on this trip, I would have been DEVASTATED if I didn't get to go.

Of course, one might argue that it is the lack of control that I have a hard time with. If I were going on the trip I would feel better about it. The logical me knows that even if I were there I wouldn't be able to stop the plane from crashing, or probably even ward off a mugger or stop any bad thing from happening. It's the illusion of control that I need. But, silly Lacy, even if you think you're in control you're not. Duh.  God is always in control and he really doesn't need any help from you. 


So, as the risk of being sappy I will say...
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.

Don't get me started on him leaving for college.